Dedicated to Lavis, my beloved dog ♥ ♥ ♥

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Dear Lavis,

it was so sudden when this news came to me . i was at school and mummy sent a text leaving me with tears covering my eyes .

"Lavis is dead" was what the text said .

do you know how much i wish she was kidding ?
calling her, in hope that she has that "joking voice" on . BUT ..

tears flowed down by cheeks . i kept asking mum to take you to the vet but she said you STOPPED BREATHING .

she was lost at what she should do and so was i .
there was nothing, nothing we could do to make you breath again .

all i could do was to stop crying . i did .
i try to smile the best i could and i did .

often i wonder would people think that i don't care about your death if i can still smile ?
because I CARE . i really really do .

you don't how much i don't like to step into my own house again .. because you are not there anymore .

i miss you,

- wagging your tail at me when i reach home from school,

- waiting outside my room for me to put down my bags to stroke you and call you a "good boy",

- bringing your ball to me because you want me to play with you,

- barking at the sound of doorbells,

- growling at me when i try to snatch your ball,

- sniffing outside the door when we're all inside,

- waiting for me down my bed in the morning when i woke up,

- lying on the floor of my bedroom,

- looking for your ball when i ask you where it is (when i'm the one hiding it)

- licking my face when i say "i love you" *you understood ..*
etc etc ..

there are too many things we did together that are unforgettable . so how could i possibly not care ????

i bet even mummy and daddy thinks that i don't, Lavis . but you know i do ..

i just feel so empty without you . your death was too sudden i think i can't accept the fact that you're really gone forever .
i feel like i am living in a dream right now . NOTHING IS REAL

mummy told me you were so so happy that day .
i regret not seeing you for the last time before i go to school (because i don't want to disturb you sleeping)

i started asking myself ..
*if only mummy didn't bring you out that day
*if only you would stay properly when mummy is doing that leash thing for you
*if only you would stay when mummy told you to
*if only that driver is tall enough to see you there before he started moving the car
*if only mummy was fast enough to stop the driver
*if only you were to take a few steps back before the car hit you
*if only you were strong enough, just a little bit for mummy and daddy to bring you to bring you to the vet
*if only .....

you should wait Lavis, i know how much you were suffering but i know mummy and daddy would do their best to save you because .. they love you . and so do i . and so do Hui Ying . ohkay ? just know that .. we all love you . sooo sooo much

it has been 3 days since you are gone and we still call your names like maniacs when we get home and when we enter the car (because you used to be there)
we are all missing you like crazy ..

what i hope is that you are happier in another world right NOW . for you and for us .

i will NEVER EVER forget you . and i promise you will always be irreplaceable in my heart .

you will be remembered, never be forgotten, always living in my heart .


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